This letter is to a few of you.

There are a lot of tired metaphors about a sports career – or life – being like a tree. References to roots and leaves, to thin and thick rings, and so on.

But, the real thing is, when your athlete identity takes a hit, it really sucks. Getting hurt so badly you can’t lace up to get out there sucks. Being so swamped in work that you can’t train – then can’t perform – sucks. Being ignored, rejected, benched, or replaced sucks.

And it’s both normal and valuable to take time to process that. “Time” might be months or it might be weeks. If you claim it’s enough to take just hours, you’re probably lying to yourself about how much it hurts to be out of the game.

This particular article is not to tell you how to brush yourself off and get back to it. I’m here to remind you that your sport and your peers and your circumstances can hurt your feelings. Having reality slap your expectations right in the face can hurt your feelings.

As a coach, I promote myself on effective programming, simple exercises, and basing training decisions on evidence. But no one stays with me for multiple training cycles or for multiple seasons or for YEARS of work together because I’m clever. They don’t stay because of their successes on the field. I’m proud to help people have those, but they don’t really matter.

The athletes who have stayed with me, which is the largest source of pride for me, did so because they know their feelings are welcome in our check-ins. They know their hurt and disappointment and frustration and fear have a place in our process. They know I am going to push but I am not going to judge or rush.

I need you to know that, too.

You’re going to have crappy reps, crappy sessions, crappy days, crappy competitions, crappy months, and whole crappy seasons. Your sport is going to knock you down, then kick dirt on you, then turn its back on you.

It’s going to hurt your feelings.

I hope to be one of many people in your circle to walk with you when you’re ready to get back up.

When your season’s blown, take your time getting well again. If you’re in your sport for the love and for the long haul, that fire is going to burn plenty bright again soon enough. Use it. Direct those painful feelings toward being awesome next time around. When it’s time to train, I’ve got you.

But don’t rush it. When you’re down, I’ve got you, too.

One of my principles, from a category called My Inverted Frustrations is “embrace the suck”. Another, from a category called The Three Things, is “love learning.”

Neither is meant to be boundlessly optimistic. In fact, they are my reminders to myself that there will probably be more crappy times than good ones, so I better find something to hold on to through those. Embracing the suck means genuinely believing there is something to learn in my crappy situation, even if it’s just that I can survive it.

That’s all I’m asking of you.

When your season’s blown and your feelings are hurt, embrace the suck.

But share it with me. What you feel is not just welcome here, it’s essential to the work we’ll do together.