I’ve tried lots of sports, some in earnest, but they don’t all result in success for me. Endurance sports have been uniquely cruel to my psychology over the years. Here’s a recap of the last straw! The “article” aspect of this is short, then you can enjoy a minimally edited copy of my post-race letter to my food therapist.

(“Food therapist” is how I refer to my dietitian, given that I have a “spine therapist” [chiropractor], “muscle therapist” [massage], “sports therapist” [PT], and, you know, “feelings therapist” [uh…therapist?] in my support circle. I really like therapy, I guess.)

Dan John wrote about Successful Failure and Failing Success as far back as his free book “From The Ground Up” and that section was about learning lessons from your journey in sport that go beyond your best results. I love that section and love that he has revisited it in several books since and I appreciate the lesson that what we take away from training and competing can serve us well beyond the field of play.

But that’s not this article.

I’ve put off writing about my race experience on 2023/05/27 for over a month because it was a frustrating and disappointing outcome that resulted from an unpleasant and misaligned process which I chose out of total denial for my own strengths and interests.

Short version: for all the hype I made of it and all the energy I put into it, I sucked at the Gunnison Growler and I knew I would as far as two months out.

Longer version: I know that I hate sustained aerobic intervals. I know that I am a high responder to intense efforts. I know that I prefer wrecking myself during conditioning in bad weather compared to training indoors. I know that I generally hate adding technology – sensors and tracking tools and digital tools – to my training regime. I know that I do better with organic rest days and recovery weeks. And I know that I need to compete often to perform well. I’m a track athlete by temperament, so every part of this has been clear to me since 2004.

So in preparation for a race that had thoroughly gotten into my head, I decided to throw out everything I know about myself in favor of using every bit of cycling tech at my disposal (a LOT, given both my wife and I had worked in cycling tech…) to do the very best in structured training in my perfectly controlled indoor environment on a rigid schedule by myself with no alternate races as “distractions.”

When I lined up at the Growler, I was miserable, flat, fat, and acutely aware that I didn’t have race legs. And, even though I still improved on my 2021 performance under nearly-identical conditions, I wasn’t even close to what I could have been.

And, worse, for the third time, I was certain that I don’t love bike racing. So I rode the race – a spectacular course, staffed with awesome volunteers, and loaded with the coolest, friendliest competitors of any event I’ve ever entered – with my e-brake on, unwilling to dig deep and unsure I even could. It was a pathetic showing.

And that’s the race report, in a nutshell. I didn’t listen to my soul, I didn’t listen to my body, and I didn’t listen to my own judgment (which has served me pretty well athletically for any goals I’ve committed to)…but in the last weeks leading up to the start, I did feel, deeply, how much I love lifting and sprinting.

Think I’ll be getting back to that ASAP.

***

Official pre-race body comp data (05/26 07:55):

• body weight: 214.2 lb
• waist measure: 35-1/2 in
• sum of skinfolds (3-site): 38 mm (~12% BF on the J&P 3-site table)

***

Original Growler, Gunnison, CO

36.6 miles, 4,300 feet elevation gain, typical conditions

RACE DAY

Sleep quantity: 7 hours

Sleep quality: good

Breakfast time: 07:10

Breakfast content: eggs, salad, steak, oatmeal, banana, coffee

Readiness (mood, sense of fitness, confidence): high

Time to beat

• 2021 (singlespeed): 7h 7m – DNF (over time cutoff)
• 2022 (gears): 5h 47m

Finish time: 5h 47m (singlespeed)

Avg power [W]: 80W

Avg heart rate [bpm]: 148bpm

Carbohydrates consumed [g]: 276g (10 GUs, 2.5 Honey Stinger waffles)

Drinks consumed [mL]: 4,800 mL or so

Overall assessment: Nutrition was good, no cramps, little brain fog

Conclusions…

Oddly, and I know you’re not a cycling or a strength coach so you had no input on this, I found that I had no snap, no top-end. My aerobic performance was better than it’s ever been and the fact that I didn’t blow up yet matched my best time (with just one gear rather than 10!) reflects that. But I think the way I trained left a lot wanting. This race you’re either hammering uphill or not pedaling at all while descending. I just couldn’t turn it on for uphill segments. Seemed like I couldn’t go over 350W for any length of time. My FTP is 290W. So that was weird.

Still, I rode fine and I felt like I had more available – even if I couldn’t figure out how to access it!

***

Next up is several days with no structure, then our team 12H MTB race. No pressure to perform on that one.

After that, just lifting and dieting until my August meet, which is itself just a tune up on my way to master’s track next year – think I’m done done with endurance sports (note this is the 3rd time I’ve “quit”…so take that statement with salt).

We’ll schedule one more consult the week of 06/19 or so, then I’ll go back to planning and executing on my own for the foreseeable future.

Grateful for your guidance and accountability!